• Nikki Jane

7 Steps to Self Love

Updated: Feb 19, 2020

Hi Everyone,

This week I am writing about self love!

Self-love is a popular term today that gets tossed around in normal conversation. But what is self-love?

Is it something you can obtain through a beauty makeover or a new set of clothes?

Can you get more of it by reading something inspirational?

Or, can a new relationship make you love yourself more?

The answer to all of these questions is No. Although they feel good and are gratifying, you can't grow in self-love through these types of activities.

Here are 7 steps to improve your self love:

1. Become mindful. People who have more self-love tend to know what they think, feel, and want. They are mindful of who they are and act on this knowledge, rather than on what others want for them.

2. Act on what you need rather than what you want. You love yourself when you can turn away from something that feels good and exciting to what you need to stay strong, centered, and moving forward in your life, instead. By staying focused on what you need, you turn away from automatic behavior patterns that get you into trouble, keep you stuck in the past, and lessen self-love.

3. Practice good self-care. You will love yourself more, when you take better care of your basic needs. People high in self-love nourish themselves daily through healthy activities, like good nutrition, exercise, and a really good sleep.

4. Set boundaries. You'll love yourself more when you set limits or say no to work, love, or activities that deplete or harm you physically, emotionally and spiritually, or express poorly who you are.

5. Protect yourself. Bring the right people into your life. I love the term frenemies. It describes so well the type of "friends" who take pleasure in your pain and loss rather than in your happiness and success. My suggestion to you here: Get rid of them! There isn't enough time in your life to waste on people who want to take away the shine on your face that says, "I genuinely love myself and life." You will love and respect yourself more.

6. Forgive yourself. We can be so hard on ourselves all the time. The downside of taking responsibility for our actions is punishing ourselves too much for mistakes in learning and growing. You have to accept your humanness (the fact that you are not perfect), before you can truly love yourself. Practice being less hard on yourself when you make a mistake. Remember, there are no failures, if you have learned and grown from your mistakes; there are only lessons learned.

7. Live intentionally. You will accept and love yourself more, whatever is happening in your life, when you live with purpose and design. Your purpose doesn't have to be crystal clear to you. If your intention is to live a meaningful and healthy life, you will make decisions that support this intention, and feel good about yourself when you succeed in this purpose. You will love yourself more if you see yourself accomplishing what you set out to do. You need to establish your living intentions, to do this.

I hope this helps you deepen your self love!

Have a wonderful week!

Much love


6 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All


I feel like there is a common misconception that if you pivot your goals you have failed. In my opinion that is simply not true. Pivoting is a great move. Pivoting can be either a defensive move or an


Are you happy? Is your goal to be happy? I think being happy an elusive thing, especially in today’s society where many people base their “happiness” on what they own, who they know, how they are perc