• Nikki Jane


Every single one of us has experienced a setback. Some of us may have experienced many. From falling in love to breaking up, from getting a job to losing a job, from getting fit to then getting injured. These circumstances turn our world upside down, inside out and out of balance.

I like to think that these are the characteristics of a radical shift!

A radical shift is that ‘aha moment’ but on steroids. It’s the opening your mind to an entirely new way of thinking and behaving. Because when your mind is open, it will automatically shift.

At the time of a setback, we may feel or think that everything is falling apart, we have no control and we are losing everyone and everything. We can get stressed, and panic and fight our feelings, trying to cling on to what was supposed to be.

Sometimes when things are falling apart, they may actually be falling into place…

You may be asking yourself when those setbacks are going to take a back seat in your life.

The simple answer is: when you begin planning for your comeback. Remember: you only have control over three things in your life: your own thoughts, your own behaviours and your own reactions. It may not seem like much but actually it’s your entire life. That’s a lot of power...if you choose to focus your thoughts and energy in that direction. But, how amazing would it be to plan and bigger and better comeback?

Comeback to what, you may wonder after a long series of setbacks? Comeback to your passion. Comeback to your dignity. Comeback to your purpose. Comeback to owning your life. Comeback to the dreams and plans you put on hold. Comeback to your joy.

But where do you even start?

The first thing I’ve realised is you have to just get by one day at a time.

The key to coping is to keep your attention and focus in the present time. Have no expectations. Make no judgements. And … give up the need to know why things happen as they do!

Your life is made up of a million moments, spent in a million different ways. Some of those moments are searching for love, freedom, peace, harmony or happiness. Other moments are all about surviving the day. When you get a grasp of the importance of these radical shifts, you’ll realise they all happen in the perfect moment. And, although they may not feel like it at the time, they are essential for our growth.

Instead of dwelling on hopes and fears about the unknowable future, focus your attention on whatever is happening right now. And if you need the time to grieve, set yourself a timeline so you don’t drown in your sorrow. For example, give yourself two days to embrace your emotions, feel them, and learn from them. And then let them go. Otherwise you will find yourself on this emotional roller coaster moving from denial, anger and sadness many times over. Just experiencing your feelings as they come up will help them pass more quickly.

Next, I think You have to change your perspective.

A change of your perception has the extraordinary power to make everything more positive and healthy. And help you to build self-esteem, happiness and success. You have to look at the situation from a different point of view. You have to ask yourself what is this experience teaching me?

Then I think you have to start thinking that you are only as strong as your next move.

Sun Tzu tells us that – the general who wins the battle makes many calculations in his temple before the battle is fought. The general who loses makes but few calculations beforehand.

So, you have to make a plan. You have to take responsibility and own your life!

You get clear on your vision. You set goals. You work on your own development with how you think, behave, and react.

People tell you that everything happens for a reason even if you don’t know what that reason is yet.

People tell you that the universe will only give you what you are strong enough to handle.

People tell you what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

Well, I don’t know what the reason is yet for my most recent setback, but I do know I handled it and I do believe that I’m mentally stronger for having experienced it.

There are countless tales of sports teams or individual athletes who endured failure after failure and then went on to win the World Series or a gold medal. Doesn’t that make the win even sweeter and more meaningful?

When you get your radical shift… all of life becomes, momentarily, light as a feather …and the most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, instead they are felt with the heart.

So if you’re experiencing a setback right now, How about if you start rooting for yourself? Why not plan for your big win? How about you create that radical shift?

Much love,


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